In March of 2019, I lost my brother to a car accident. I remember that day feeling completely off. I had tennis match, and after I had a terrible feeling that something wasn't right. I drove home only to see a police car in my drive way. I pulled off and parked at the side of the road. When I got out of my car I automatically asked if everything was okay. The police officer responded with only "are you the daughter?". I nodded. She said "let me come with you inside". I got to the door and as I opened I saw my mom in tears standing over photos scattered across the floor. My dad sat on the couch with his face in his hands. My mom cried and gently said "sweetheart, your brother has been killed in a car accident". I cried "what?" and fell to the couch. To be honest, everything the police officers were saying after this is a complete blur. My mind was completely blank and all I could do was cry. I remember feeling overwhelmingly alone, so I went outside and sat on the stairs screaming "NO NO NO NO NO" at the top of my lungs. I didn't even think about how neighbors could hear me, it never came to mind. One of the police officers came outside and apologized for the devastating loss I'm going through. She said "Honey, you are all they have now. I think you should come inside". When I thought of this sentence, l couldn't help but think that was completely brutal to say in this moment. That night me, my mom, and dad, lied in his bed. I can't even remember sleeping that night.
In the morning, we drove up to the site of the accident. We searched and searched for a sign of the wreck. My mom gasped and as I looked to the left, on side of the road was is neon green hydro flask. We pulled off and got out of the car. We could see the tire track that ran off the side of the road and the broken dirt on the hill. Shattered glass could be seen along with other small broken pieces of car looking material. A car pulled off to the other side of the road next to us from distance, and the man inside solemnly shook his head as if he knew exactly what we were dealing with. After a while we left, got fast food, and went home to sit in silence. The days after were extremely hard. Me and my parents had to go to our local crematory so that they could fill out paperwork. They also planned the memorial service. Me and my dad wanted a necklace with his fingerprint on it. I have worn that necklace everyday since I got it, never taking it off. The women that helped us with all the planning and the support was a life saver.
It had been a few days and we still hadn't seen him. They told us that we might not be able to see him because he might be too beaten up. We got the news that they could make it possible. I had so many mixed emotions about seeing him. I knew that it was going to stick with me all my life, but more than ever did I just want to see him one last time. When the day came to seeing him, I remember on the way there, in the car me and my mom cried. My dad sat in silence. When we got inside the building the women stood and told us that he has a lot of makeup on his face because he went through the window. They also had a cloth on his ear because it was bleeding. She took us to the room and there he was. I could barely see his face from where we stood. The women left, and me, and my parents slowly walked to him. To this day I can never get the image of this out of my head. He looked asleep. Almost as if I touched him, he would wake up. I cried and cried as my parents spoke to him and held his hand. My mom hugged him and urged me to speak to him. I held his hand, and it was stiff and cold. I looked up to the sealing and screamed "take me too!", "it should've been me!", "why would you take him?!". My dad sat crying with his face in his hands. We stayed for hours. I can't even put in words how devastating leaving him was. We knew that was the last time we would ever physically see him. When we got home, once again, silence.
Copyright © 2020 A Step Forward - All Rights Reserved.
Powered by GoDaddy